Living a life of great adventures means doing things differently. Not doing what you’ve always done so you always get what you’ve always got. Every year the Christmas pressure and commercialism yanks me to my couch in frustration. So, what does an adventurer do? Change!

I’ve started a new Christmas tradition. The Jewish Christmas eve. I know it’s an oxymoron. But that’s the whole point. I know if you’re a traditional Christian or a person of the Jewish faith, this may not make sense. But, consider that we are all celebrating the holidays in one way or another. So why not try a new path? Last night I decided to do just that…

Adventure Tip: When you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. So, do something new!

Happy Holidays!
-Tracy Pattin

Great adventures are about shaking things up. Doing things in a different way no matter what people think.  Instead of doing the usual Christmas eve,  I’ve decided to convert….to a brand new kind of Christmas. I’ve begun a new tradition- A Jewish Christmas. Yes, I said Jewish Christmas. I know it’s an oxymoron..But those are my favorite kinds of experiences. Oxymoronic. Contradictory adventures. The unexpected.

Many Jewish people celebrate their Christian counterparts on Christmas by eating Chinese food and going to the movies. My friend Michael Cohen and I went to a crazy Chinese restaurant where the owner, an older Chinese woman, is known to be, shall I say, a little intense? She’s sort of like the “Soup Nazi” on Seinfeld.

So off we went to be harassed and entertained in celebration of my new tradition. It was perfect! This Chinese diner, Hunan Cafe in West Hollywood, is  the kind you see peppered all along Stockton street in San Francisco and Hong Kong.

As soon as we got our green tea and water, I spotted the owner. She immediately came over and lectured me. Something about moving my purse and jacket from the empty chair. After eating our delicious Wanton Soup and chicken chow mein, we both felt a little light headed. I asked the owner if there was MSG in the food. She quickly denied it, telling us we were big water drinkers. Must have been the hot sauces that we put on the chow mein.

After our Jewish Christmas Dinner we headed over to the Laemmle theatres to see the movie, “Precious”….An amazing film that makes you think about your own life and being grateful. What a perfect experience on a perfect Jewish Christmas eve.

So there you have it. A great new tradition is born. Stay tuned for next year. Another Chinese restaurant, another movie, another great midlife adventure.

Holiday Adventure Tip: Shake up your tradition. Do something different this year or next. Consider a brand new way to create the spirit of giving. KEEP DOING IT ALL YEAR LONG!

-Tracy Pattin

“Where Hi-Tech meets Low Tech for tea and chocolate”

There’s a whole world of adventure out there…right here…at your fingertips. It’s the world of the internet; Social Media, New Media, YouTube, blogs, podcasts, videos! As Video Blogger sensation (Wine Library TV) Gary Vaynerchuk says, “This is the time to make your dreams come true.” Anyone can get their message out there to the world via video, audio, personal essays, blog posts. Anyone can get their products out there to the world. And you can distribute for very little money! The flood gates have opened. But, so many get stumped, stuck, paralyzed by the not knowing part. The overwhelm. “How and where do I begin?” On New Media Tea Time, Living Careers.net’s Danielle Gruen and moi, team up to share our knowledge, tips, ideas, on how to navigate this Social Media, New Media madness. Oh, if that’s not enough, we pepper the show with chocolate and tea tidbits. The fabulous feline Hailey is purring somewhere nearby absorbing all this tantalizing info. In webisode #13, Danielle and Tracy talk about how to personalize and customize your Twitter page. And of course check out the customized chocolate from a local Los Angeles chocolatier, Dore Chocolatt and a delicious new tea!

Click above and LISTEN instead.

The other day I got one of the very few holiday cards sent to me this year. (I haven’t sent cards in ages so I deserve this dearth of holiday greetings). It was one of those mass produced, over sized envelopes, so hermetically sealed that I had to rip the envelope to shreds to get to the card.

After all that work, there it was, the ubiquitous picture of the kids (why are the parents never in the shot? I always know them better than their offspring, in fact I probably wouldn’t recognize the little tikes if I passed them on the street!). The two kids were in a canoe in a swamp-like pond, sunglasses on, with a “do-I have-to-pose-for-this-dreadful-picture?” look on their faces. They were so far away in the shot, it made me wonder if the parents just shot a picture of a couple of random kids floating by, so they could get the damn card done in August!

Oh, and there was no message in the card, just embossed names of the family members.

This made me wonder, why do we send holiday cards at all? Oh, I know. If someone sends you a card, you have to return the gesture. But, who started sending the card in the first place? I guess it’s one of those chicken/egg analogies. Anyway, if that’s not the reason, chances are it’s a business thing. A perfect time to keep yourself in front of past and potential clients under the guise of the holiday spirit.

My longtime friend, Gale, announced to me last night that she was sending 6 holiday cards this year and I wouldn’t be one of the recipients. It was okay. She did it for practical reasons. She just wanted to let the people she’d lost touch with, know that she wasn’t dead.

So there you have it. All the reasons for sending a holiday message. Which is exactly why I don’t send any cards. Here’s a suggestion. How about sending cards throughout the year to all those people on your list, perhaps in June, wishing them happiness for the rest of the year? Why not surprise them? They’ll never think it’s something obligatory, so the gesture will be more like the reason to send a card in the first place. Just because you were thinking of them.

This is a very different kind of midlife adventure. Maybe because in midlife we’ve had so many holiday experiences causing us to have a new outlook on its meaning. For me? I toggle between cynicism and hilarity.

Or, like my friend Gale, you could send an “I’m not dead” card, for a real surprise and maybe even a good laugh.

Adventure Tip: Create your own holiday ritual by NOT sending the obligatory cards. Surprise your loved ones with a mid-year message celebrating having them in your life. Unlike the plethora of hermetically sealed holiday cards, they’ll remember and cherish this very special gesture.

-Tracy Pattin

Most of us have pre-conceived notions about Thanksgiving and pretty much all holidays. We have these expectations of how they’re supposed to be. Great food, laughter, more great food, gifts, smiles, love. It’s like we’re in one big happy holiday movie. But sometimes life gives us the unexpected and if we look closely enough and stay open, it can be as delicious as the dinner we’re about to have.

I was invited to one of the most beautiful places on the planet; Malibu. Waves crashing on white sandy beaches, fancy homes looking out on the horizon through giant picture windows, and yes, lots of Hollywood celebrities. Danny and Cole are new friends. It would be a small gathering. Danny’s mom visiting from the East Coast, their friend Rick and me.

As I drove up The Pacific Coast Highway, I marveled at the perfect day. Brilliant blue skies, 72 degrees, very little traffic (a HUGE PLUS in LA!), and the fresh sea air (another HUGE PLUS!). They have the perfect Malibu cottage right across the street from the sea.  What an idyllic holiday it was about to be. When I walked in, Cole was cooking, juggling the myriad of Thanksgiving dishes like a conductor in a symphony. Danny was chatting with the guests.

The holiday movie was just beginning. I handed Cole a good bottle of cabernet. He quickly whispered “Did Danny tell you about his mom?” I hadn’t heard a thing. “She just got out of a 6 month rehab program yesterday so we need to be low key with the wine”  he said as he poured me a glass of chardonnay in a giant plastic blue cup (Danny and Cole brought her out here as a last attempt to get her well). Of course I understood. I kind of liked the fact that we had to ration our drinking, since I had a long drive home. This movie was really starting to hook me.

It’s funny how whenever we have expectations, inevitably they will be different than what we imagine. I couldn’t wait to meet Danny’s mom.

Then this little woman in a green dress walked out from the back bedroom. It was clear she’d been through some major challenges. She looked tired, exhausted really, and vulnerable. But at the same time there was this hardiness about her.  I wanted to know more. What happened to make her need a place to get sober for 6 months? Here in this land of 21 day high-end celebrity filled rehabs, this older Croatian woman seemed out of her element.

She regaled us at dinner with great childhood Danny stories and her life on the East Coast. I could sense her fear of going back home to her husband and two other kids, thrust into her old life as this new woman. What would that be like? How would she cope? Would she be able to stay sober? I just wanted to know her struggles, her pain. How did she go from a young woman in Croatia, to a wife and mother in New York steeped in a very serious addiction? After dinner, she handed me her address on a slip of paper, “come visit me in New York. You can stay in Danny’s room. It’s still exactly the same.” In that moment, I just wanted to hug her and tell her everything would be okay.

The dinner was perfection. All the dishes going together beautifully in Cole’s edible symphony. We sat outside on their veranda with background music of waves crashing on the beach and the scent of honeysuckle and jasmine wafting across the table. There was so much perfection in such an imperfect situation.

After dinner, I rode with Danny up the gorgeous coast to take his mom to an AA meeting. On the drive back he filled me in on his life growing up with an alcoholic mother. My heart broke for him and for his mom. Suddenly this unexpected adventure was turning into an amazingly poignant life changing experience. I felt myself waking up from the constant foggy funk from those stories I tell myself about not doing enough, not being enough.

As I drove home that night, I relived my Thanksgiving over and over. What kind of a Thanksgiving did I just have? It didn’t look like your typical Thanksgiving except for the dinner part. I struggled to answer it. Then it hit me like a giant wave. THIS IS WHAT THANKSGIVING IS ABOUT! I was yelling in my head, excited to know this. To feel this. To have experienced this.

Every year I dread the holidays because of my own fragmented family history of parental divorces and being yanked between the craziness year after year. And last year my dad passed away the day before Thanksgiving. I decided to stay home, by myself, and write about the intense experience I’d just had. It was exactly what I needed.

But, this was the most meaningful Thanksgiving I’ve ever had. How lucky was I? I’ve never felt more compassion, more gratitude with this huge desire to give like never before. Thanks Danny, Cole and Maria for giving me so much.

Adventure Tip: For powerful unexpected adventures, open your mind and your heart and strive for the unexpected by eliminating all expectations.

-Tracy Pattin

As the holiday season is on the horizon, why not take preventative measures, instead of waiting till January and the dreaded  New Year’s Resolutions? Let’s resolve NOT to gain weight, spend too much, and get depressed after the holidays (before and during too!) Let’s adventurize now. And do things differently this year!

Everywhere we look it’s “Back to School.” Sales, events and actual going back to school. Summer ends. Fall begins. But non-parents and non-kids can participate in a symbolic “Back to School.” It’s a great time to begin new projects, new lifestyles and healthy habits before the looming holidays, like getting in great shape! (for parents too, while your kids are in school!).

Maybe this year we’ll have resolved everything before the holidays even begin. Why not use “Back to School” as getting back to our best selves?

Adventure Tip: “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” (Wayne Dyer)

In tomorrow’s Fed Up with Fitness. Don’t wait till January part 2, Motivational Fitness Expert, Mandy Rhodes gives 3 tips to get you started!

-Tracy Pattin