It’s proving to be true. The more you step out and Adventurize Your Midlife, the more the adventures step up to greet you.

A friend invited me to attend a memorial service last weekend because he didn’t want to go alone. I didn’t know the person who had passed away, but I was up for the experience.

We arrived early at the beautiful beachfront center in Santa Monica. There were lots of people mingling. It was different than your normal Saturday evening gathering. But everyone was upbeat, smiling almost as if they didn’t really know how else to be. The French woman next to me was a student of hers. Of course she asks, “So how do you know Kathryn?”

It felt a little strange to say “I don’t know the woman.” So I pointed to my friend and let him take the floor explaining he was a student of hers too. Her death was sudden and unexpected so there was this giant elephant in the room that no one wanted to notice.

As I looked over I saw two young children, the older one, head down in tears. I wondered if she was her daughter. But it was clear the woman comforting her was her mom. I was relieved (the girl was her grand niece).

This unexpected adventure was quickly weaving itself into a blanket of adventures as I just took it all in.  It was as if I wandered into a slice of life that I wasn’t a part of.  In spite of not being a friend or family member,  somehow I felt connected to everyone in the room.

The service started with Kathryn’s best friend, Carol. She took us through her life with Kathryn over 30 years of friendship. I began to know this woman. Who she was behind the slide show of pictures. Carol summed everything up by sharing the powerful lessons she learned from her friend. She talked about Kathryn’s favorite metaphor for leading a more spiritual life- gardening. She talked about Kathryn often saying we must tend to our garden every day, pulling out those weeds. She said the weeds will always come back- equating those with our dark moments, our struggles. We just have to keep gardening.

Carol finished by saying we must replace fear with love.

Then, Kathryn’s friends and family spoke. Her grand niece shared a touching poem about her aunt. I kept thinking about my nieces and nephews realizing the impact we Aunts and Uncles have on kids.

At the end of the service, Kathryn’s life partner spoke so eloquently about her life with Kathryn. I was astounded by her courage and inspired by the love pouring out of this grieving woman.

I left this adventure, so grateful to have been a part of something so special and walked away unexpectedly filled up with… life.

Adventure Tip: Never stop adventurizing. Never stop gardening…and weeding.

-Tracy Pattin

Tags: Adventures, memorials, midlife adventures