I went to a “Spiritual Event” last night here in Los Angeles. The theatre was filled to capacity with spiritual seekers, looking for more meaning in their lives. I was looking for my own Midlife Spiritual Adventure.

The speaker is a well known personality of the “New Age” spiritual (not religious) world. She’s a gifted speaker and has lots and lots of Universal truths to share. As she stood at the podium, quoting, theorizing and storytelling, the audience hung on her every word. She talks fast with a sense of urgency, spouting out so much spiritual info that you have to be a disciplined spiritual being to absorb it all.

She talked about relationships, and of course the main character or nemesis of spiritual beings…EGO (should always be in caps!). How EGO causes us so many problems. How EGO creates illusion. “We must not NEED anyone. We must WANT them.” She states. The audience claps in agreement. Okay, note to self, do not NEED. WANT only. Got it. I write it down in my YES book of Adventures, 2010.

Then she opened it up to questions. That’s when things got strange. The woman went on and on and on and on and on (okay you get the picture) about the gory details of her unhappy, stressed life. Kids, husband, 2 cats…The Spiritual Teacher jumped in (finally) with her own two spiritual cents, asking the audience to pray for the woman. To pray for a miracle. Before the praying commenced, Spiritual Teacher asked anyone for comments and questions (ughh!). Another woman came up to the mic and hotly disagreed with Spiritual Teacher’s assessment of the situation. Then Spiritual Teacher jumped in to defend her spiritual position. (I got so confused as to whom was teaching whom that I started doing my own meditation called Passage Meditation)

After their arguing ended, Spiritual Teacher guided us through a prayer. (I decided to do my own prayer-To get out of here fast! Praying for the evening to end)

Then she asked for another audience question. Someone stood up, launched into their personal situation. Here we go again. I was done with my spiritual evening. All prayed and meditated up. Ready to get back to the harsh LA reality.

So here’s the question. Are we becoming spiritual perfectionists? Obsessed with Wanting not needing? Needing not wanting? Connecting not separating? Detaching and disconnecting from expectations? Unconditionally loving without expectations? Expecting the best? Not expecting at all? Being not doing? Doing not just being?

Just writing this gives me A.D.D.!! With all of the ramped up spiritualizing, is it just adding stress to all the other aspects of our ramped up lives as we search to be enlightened spiritual beings?

And as for everyone who’s on a traditional, organized religious path, you’ve got your set rules so you don’t have choices. You get to adhere to the black and white of your beliefs. (you’ve got your own set of challenges).

Like any obsessive compulsive disorder, these intrusive thoughts can cause anxiety.  Here’s the Wikipedia definition of OCD: A mental disorder caused by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety, or by combinations of such thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions).

It’s a vicious cycle.

Even with its best intentions of a higher spiritual self, we can get lost in our spiritual quest, not knowing what to believe and which path to take, frantically searching for our own meaning.

Then I had a thought. Just like all the other parts to our lives, if we just simplify, get back to basics and understand what’s most important, the answer is right here, within us. Instead of praying for a miracle. Maybe we just need to be the miracle.

-Tracy Pattin

Tags: belief, Marianne Williamson, midlife spiritual adventures, miracles, spiritual gurus, Spirituality