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SizzleintheMiddle audio blog Statistically Dead. Fully Alive.

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I’m sitting here right now talking to my 80 year old mother on the phone. She’s sitting in a French Bistro in Mill Valley, eating her salad, waiting to get in the rush line for the new Daniel Ellsberg Documentary.  “I’m in love with life. I love being 80″ she says to me between bites. “I love the fact that I’m statistically dead but fully alive. I’m past the life expectancy of white women in the U.S. So at this point, each day IS a gift.”

Now, widowed ( third husband AND 2 ex-husbands are all dead) my mom has created another chapter in her life. She lives in a rented apartment in Berkeley so she can be where the action is, during the week and goes home to her townhouse in Napa on the weekends. Her life is filled with great friends of all ages, spiritual quests, workshops, seminars, events. Life. Fun.

So, as the younger version of her, I wonder…What does it take for people in mid life to be excited about life? Why do we freak out about our age? As my birthday is on the horizon, I have mixed feelings. I’m a little melancholy, wishing I were even 5 years younger, yet thrilled about my adventurous, fulfilling life. Why can’t I be more like her about my own age? It’s as if that label keeps trying to trip me as I prance through life inhaling each experience.

Why aren’t more of us feeling “In love with life?” Why, at 80, does my mom feel excited about every moment, each breath? My mom equates her exhilarated state of being (sans anti-depressants! Only wine) with passion. Curiosity. She just finished a poetry seminar with John Fox where he posed the question, “What is the thread of your life?” My mom wonders, “Maybe that’s where our passion exists.”

Adventure Tip: To find  your passion, take an adventure backwards, drawing a line back to your first memory. What would be attached to that line? What images? What words? What experiences? Even if some are unhappy, traumatic, there are nuggets that reveal your desire, your will. Your passion. That’s what keeps us in love with life.

Oh, and by the way, my mom is the author of the book, Widow with A Husband. A book about Alzheimer’s and care giving during her last husband’s battle with the disease. She’s working on her second book about being 80.

Adventure Tip: Look to an adventurous elder for some adventure inspiration. Find out what they’re passionate about.

My mom’s favorite quote these days is:

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow’s a mystery, today’s a gift, that’s why they call it the present.”

Maybe it’s as simple as that. Live each day as a gift. Be in the present.

-Tracy Pattin

Tags: 80 year olds, Alzheimer's, Berkeley, midlife adventures, midlife crisis, Napa, passion, Poetic Medicine